I assume you want to make your psychotherapy out of free will. Neither people nor circumstances (e.g. nervous breakdown) force you to act as quickly as possible which would extremely impair a free choice of a psychotherapist and therefore the success of your psychotherapy.

You will get to know everything you can and should consider about consciously shaping your psychotherapy on this webpage. A psychotherapy is no one-way road in which you re-act - YOU are responsible for your own (mis)fortune. And you have many opportunities to influence it as there are various factors which determine the success of a psychotherapy.

What's important (to me) is that you develop a SENSE for psychotherapies. They appear a lot less frightening and externally controlled if you also emotionally understand why psychotherapies work how.

But please consider that I only give a general overview here so that this webpage remains relatively clear. Text or contact me for more detailed information or visit my blog where I write about this topic every so often.

Also, the specific search of psychotherapists mainly refers to the opportunities the German health care system offers as this is where I live. Nevertheless, most of the general principles presented and explained here can be applied to any person and circumstances. Please get in touch with if you want to know something specific.

Generally, I recommend every person to make at least one psychotherapy. It’s a strong experience and enrichment for your life!

But there are people and circumstances where a psychotherapy will not be as successful as it can be and also as you might eventually hope. Because even if you really want to make one it may be that the time for a (certain) psychotherapy is not yet ready. Consider your technical and personal background in order to prepare for a psychotherapy:

• Scope of time
• Personal capabilities
• How moving is your external life?
• How much energy are you able and willing to put into your psychotherapy?

If you do not (yet) feel comfortable with the “technical” approach of classic psychotherapies (see psychotherapeutic procedures) and prefer or need a softer approach, a personality coach can be a good alternative and preparation.

As I already said, psychotherapies are tools - Nothing more, nothing less. It's Not dramatic And - other than most personality coaches - follows a very clean and clear methodology.

Dramatic Are your internal and external Conflicts Which mainly evolved during your childhood and youth by the interaction of your socialization (parents or other major attachment figures) and your personality. Now, it's about to resolve Thesis Knots. With a treatment (“therapy”) of your psyche = psychotherapy.

Imagine psychotherapies like taking medicine your psyche which is accompanied by a doctor. It's that simple and not the end of the world (even if it sometimes feels like that). Yes, it will hurt if everything is going well, but better this way than getting cancer, right.

If you decide to make a psychotherapy you decide for significant changes in your life. If you commit to your psychotherapist it can and will most likely have a big impact on your habits, attitude etc. and therefore your social relationships, your job and even your place to live, too. This may sound a bit scary at first, but in the end it's good for the matter of things and also yourself.

A good psychotherapy will challenge you - independently from the psychotherapeutic procedure. There are endless ways how that can show itself, but in any case a psychotherapy involves to shift away from old habits and approach something new, unfamiliar. In short, to leave your comfort zone. And this can - and should - be very intense occasionally, so it helps to have a stable social and vocational system during the time of your psychotherapy (and the more profound a psychotherapy the more important this becomes).

A psychotherapy is a lot and really hard work (on and with yourself and your psychotherapist). If you think that you're healed by simply visiting your psychotherapy sessions you're wrong and heave nearly already lost. Your active participation is the determining success factor of a psychotherapy.

NEVER ever will a psychotherapist force you to do something you don't want to!!! You can always say "No" (which you should be generally aware of in your life) and are fully conscious the whole time even in an psychoanalysis (Freud and such). There are psychotherapies where hypnosis is used but then, your psychotherapist will greatly explain everything for you.

Also, you'll not be thrown in at the deep end, e.g. immediately start with with lying sessions in a psychoanalysis - your psychotherapists still needs to get to know you first in order to be able to decide how to progress. Your general practitioner also doesn't give you any syringe right away when you show up with any symptoms, right? Besides, you can always ask what's going on and should also address if you feel insecure - after all, you work with people here, not machines 😉

Processing the content of psychotherapy sessions - the reflection of the reflection, so to speak - is the most essential aspect of a successful psychotherapy. This starts with the right choice of a psychotherapist and does anything but end with your last psychotherapy session, it's quite the contrary. The experiences you make with yourself and your psychotherapist have to be processed and applied in order to successfully implement them in your everyday life.

So, take yourself time to reflect. You have more of it anyway before and after your psychotherapy sessions than within 50 tense minutes.

I'm certain, you are able to work as diligently and sustainably on your psyche as on your body. If you get physical homework from a doctor, e.g. taking in medicine or moving your broken leg such and such or don't do this and that after your teeth got treated you actually act quite reasonably, right? Well, then you can do the exact same thing during a psychotherapy. In the end, practice makes perfect - and healthy.

Don't shy away from making several psychotherapies throughout your life. There are many good reasons for it, the best consequence is that it increases the chance to be as tidied up with yourself as possible. Don't let anyone tell you any bullshit like that you're too stupid or whatnot - those are statements complete idiots who envy your accompanying (psychic) successes or are afraid of it. Rather, forego those who downplay, bad-mouth or talk you out of your brave progress.

There is no such thing as THE perfect psychotherapist. What's perfectly fitting depends on your history and your current circumstances and goals in life and is therefore different from human to human as well as from time to time. What's perfect today can be something completely else in a couple of years which requires a new choice of another psychotherapist or psychotherapeutic procedure.

Be open for that and don't be ashamed or shy away from flexibly adjusting your choice of a psychotherapist and/or psychotherapeutic procedure if necessary - in the end, that's yet another result of a psychotherapy which shows that you indeed successfully processed old issues and are ready for new challenges.

The most important criterion by far when searching for a psychotherapist is sex (and it's the most easily distinguishable one, too). It makes a huge difference if you are looking for a psychotherapist of the same or opposite sex as my example above showed. It's simple psycho physics that your inner conflicts can never become as strong if a male psychotherapist behaves similarly to your mother as with a female psychotherapist.

Another valuable aspect is the age of your psychotherapist. You have to search a bit harder for it but it can be very useful for processing certain issues.

Of course, the combination of sex and age influences your psychotherapy, too. An older female psychotherapist resembles more a mother than a young female psychotherapist who you’ll more likely perceive as a sister or even daughter.

If that benefits or hinders you is another story and depends on your precondition and goals.

In addition to sex, location is an important criterion for the search of your psychotherapist because it allows you to beautifully decipher with what kind of people a psychotherapist generally deals with.

Is a psychotherapist in a rural or urban environment better suited? Which districts or communities consist of which social groups and therefore fit better to me or a certain problem? Is the calm suburb where psychotherapists mainly deal with family oriented issues or is it the trendy district where an alternative lifestyle is the more dominant topic in psychotherapist's offices? A more diverse or more uniform district?

And what if you don't have much choices? Not everyone is as spoiled as a Berliner like me for who it's normal to have a huge choice of psychotherapists and psychotherapy procedures and the horror having to wait longer than 5 minutes for the next train. But if you live in an area where trains only arrive every 2 hours, it possibly becomes necessary to drive long distances to your perfect psychotherapist (if it's any consolation, two hour journeys with Berlin are common, too - even outside rush hours).

This way, you decide long before your very first psychotherapeutic session how serious you are about your psychic and physical health and development. This attitude becomes more and more important the deeper the psychotherapeutic procedure gets and will at the latest then impact all of your other areas.

So, be open when choosing a location and regard it as something positive having to move away further from your familiar environment which doesn't do you any good anymore for an already long time 😉

Psychotherapists are only humans, too.

Of course, there are also quality differences amongst highly distinguished specialists which may result in you having to deal with someone who fulfills one or the other negative stereotype. As I already said, nowhere else do we determine the success of a therapy as much by ourselves as with a psychotherapy. This surely makes things a bit more complicated but also so much the more exciting and beautiful because we contribute so much more to the success here than at a physical therapy.

And even if your psychotherapist is really good, your collaboration does have natural limitations as I've already shown. You can never clean up all of your conflicts with a single person. Yet another reason to actively search for and shape psychotherapies - rather repeatedly.

This beautiful ancient Greek work "therapeia“ means "treatment", "care", "healing". Hence, the term "therapy" refers to ANY form of treatment and only says THAT somebody is treated.

It's insanely annoying that for whatever reason most people automatically mean a psychotherapy when they say "therapy" because it is imprecise, incorrect and also disrespectful towards other languages and cultures which also includes the health care systems with all its parties (ever heard of a physio, chemo or ergo therapy, eh!?.

Hence, please talk of psychotherapies and psychotherapists if you mean it! Thank you.

Every traditional therapy as well as its education and the work of therapists is based on scientific basics. Science in its traditional sense works after the same principles worldwide which make processes and results clearly measurable and distinguishable. It is standardized so one can clearly follow every step and change under controlled conditions.

This unified approach also has the advantage that scientists all over the world are able to exchange themselves or something of and develop a topic independently from their cultural heritage, so there are no linguistic or other misunderstandings.

The aforementioned advantages of psychotherapies for science and health care systems also show their effectiveness in practice:

• The predefined plan of traditional therapies provides clear guidance you and your therapist can very well use as an orientation.
• Which creates stability that is more or less pronounced, depending on the therapeutic procedure and therapist.
• The clear frame of time and space of a classic therapy can also help you to concentrate on what’s important (your self).
• At the same time, the safe space of a therapist you enter by leaving your familiar environment, additionally supports you.
• You also can be relatively sure that a traditionally educated therapist is reasonably competent and treats the experiences with you confidentially (at least in Germany, not only doctors but also psychotherapists underly the obligation of secrecy).

But this clearly defined plan of psychotherapies also has its disadvantages:

• It's in the nature of things that every standardized therapy is relatively rigid and one-dimensional (= inflexible).
• Due to the relatively rigid "personality" of a therapy it can never cater to ALL of your areas of life and conflicts - that's exactly why there are so many different forms of therapies.
• It's also not possible out of timely reasons as long as you aren't or do not want to be treated stationary - but even that has its limitations which go far beyond timely restrictions.

Conclusion

The standardized approach of psychotherapies has many and big advantages but it’s definitely not a universal remedy.

Psychotherapies are more like technical tools which never can - and should - embrace all issues or areas (of life). But if you deal with them properly, they are extremely efficient.

For everything else, there are softer tools like personality coaching where an intense hug in a field of flowers is much more likely.

Please visit my blog category “HELP” to find out what else that means in detail and how you can intentionally work with and benefit from it.

The basic education of a psychotherapist and psychiatrist (in Germany) consists of studying psychology or medicine, respectively, for five years. A practical education of several hundred to thousand theoretical and practical lessons in hospitals or practices as well as treatments under supervision (company of an already educated, experienced therapist) follow afterwards.

Psychotherapists learn their most important craft in their practical education after their basic study. As long as a psychotherapist is a human and not a psychopath he also has many traits which emotionally connects him with other humans, e.g. empathy, compassion etc. Now, a psychotherapist has to create emotional distance so that they don't break down at every horror story or at every strong emotion of her/his patient.

That’s pure self-protection for a psychotherapist which one has to train over many experiences. And it also assures you that your psychotherapist remains objectivity and therefore professionalism.

For this very reason, psychotherapists appear "distant", "hard" or even "cold" to many people. But it is one of the most important and valuable features of a psychotherapy which is also intentionally used in some psychotherapeutic procedures.

The detachment of a psychotherapist is an instrument which is vital for the success of a psychotherapy - in both directions!

The difference between the two is one of the most frequently asked questions concerning psychotherapies. And it's very easy to answer:

While a psychotherapist runs through a psychological basic education, the education of a psychiatrist is based on a medical study where the human body is the main focus.

Therefore, a psychiatrist is allowed to subscribe medics (psychotropic drugs) while a psychotherapist is not. This fundamental difference also means that psychotherapists understandably don't like to be called "doctor".

Both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages which beautifully complement each other.

While psychotherapists follow a clearly structured plan and always possess a certain distance, personality coaches can (and should) work a lot more freely and create an amicable atmosphere.

Additionally, psychotherapies are based on a method, a psychotherapeutic procedure, whereas most personality coaches focus on certain psychic areas - which I think nothing of!

I also have the impression that most personality coaches desperately try to reach a professional standard as close to psychotherapies as possible and therefore always compete with psychotherapies. Which is complete rubbish, too - the absolute contrary should be the case! To add to that, personality coaches do not really contribute(d) building up trust in many people and also damage the reputation of personality coaches by dubious business practices and extremely poor treatment.

Fortunately, this will change now. Follow me and advocate a conscious and high-quality approach with psychic conflicts and visit my blog categorie “HELP” where I consistently write about this topic.

The most important thing is that you consider their methodology - psychotherapeutic procedures - as tools. Every procedure is appropriate for certain circumstances and goals and can never resolve all of your conflicts alone. But you also don't bang a nail into the wall with a saw, don't you. That's why it's appropriate to make more than one psychotherapy throughout your life.

Also treat a psychotherapeutic procedure as a detoxication cure. As a child and youngster, you’re innocent as you depend on your (psychological) parents and therefore automatically take in all their unprocessed crap (unreflected). Through your own experiences, this mixed up with other things and depending on how intense these experiences are, how your personality is made up and how long you have not processed the bad, it engraved more or less deeply. Psychotherapeutic procedures are the instruments which now help to expose and resolve these disorders.

I show you the common "big three" here, which I fully support and which are also paid by Germany's health insurances: behavior therapy + depth-oriented psychotherapy + psychoanalytical psychotherapy(psychoanalysis). If you only want to have the impression to do something prestigious for your psyche without actually changing anything significant you're free to jump on yet another bandwagon called "systemic therapy" which even stops at psychotherapies. But please inform yourself then, I do not support disrespectful idiocy like this!

Intensity and requirements increase with increasing depth of psychotherapeutic procedures.

The numerous behavior therapies are mainly meant to firstly stabilize and develop a consciousness for your own psyche at that of others at all.

Both deeper psychotherapies expand to the causes of our conflicts, whereas the depth-oriented psychotherapy is more like a mutual conversation where you think more about your issues, while in psychoanalysis you actually dive into the disorders of your development again and are therefore more emotionally involved.

And again, a psychotherapist is not your friend. It's a person who knows about the structures and processes of the human psyche and learnt and applies methods with which he intentionally helps you to become (more) aware of your conflicts and process them. Like a doctor of psyche. He has to have a certain distance (objectiveness) to you so that this works and in order to protect herself/himself. And it's also a job for you where you learn a capability which you later apply on your own.

The most superficial therapeutic procedures of them all is the specialist amongst psychotherapies at the same time. It's based on the assumption that certain issues are learned and can therefore be unlearned again. Hence, it concentrates on (non)verbal behavior patterns and tries to resolve disorders with (non)verbal behavior, too, by fostering your consciousness of your disorder(s).

For that reason, behavior psychotherapies are best suited for the treatment of specific disorders, e.g. the fear of certain animals, humans, things, locations or situations.

Behavior therapies are also amazing to get a feeling for psychotherapies at all and mainly offer support for people who have never consciously dealt with psychic work.

They are result-driven, very similar to school (e.g. you get homework) and often contain physical elements: for instance, art therapies (painting therapy, dancing therapies) are wonderful instruments to become aware of one's self playfully.

Behavior therapies take place while seated and contain 12-60 sessions. And after you've warmed up, you can now make the net step. And if you already have been warm, you just skip behavior therapies.

A depth-oriented psychotherapy is a fantastic continuation of a behavior therapy as well as the right start for those who already realized and accepted that they have profound conflicts and may even know what they are but still don't progress.

A depth-oriented psychotherapy combines findings of psychoanalysis with the approach of behavior psychotherapies. Hence, you will exchange talk about disorders of your childhood and youth, but more in relation to everyday life situations, not by treating them directly (psychoanalysis). Your psychotherapist will only indicate that you behave such and such and also maybe explain why. You work more result-driven here, too, and less free (associating) like in a psychoanalysis.

Your relationship with your psychotherapist is nearly at the same eye-level and therefore the most balanced among all psychotherapeutic procedures.

Psychic work here is also result-driven and less open than in a psychoanalytical psychotherapy where you mostly associate freely.

Similarly, you are mostly facing your psychotherapist while sitting and will talk with each other for the most part. Hence, you will work mainly with your thoughts

The behavior of your psychotherapist will challenge you nevertheless (anything else would be bad) because you do have certain expectations towards your psychotherapist: you will have to constantly change your perspective which is not only demanding cognitively but also emotionally; you will also not only doubt yourself but also your psychotherapist and also be disappointed in her/him now and then when she/he is lacking compassion or affirm you like you have hoped for which can open up old wounds or dent your ego.

And the silence of your psychotherapist can also be challenging if you have difficulties speaking out or simply don't have to say something. The pressure that induces can be immense occasionally. But that's important, too, because YOU are the one who needs to talk, think and feel about your conflicts, not your psychotherapist who doesn't need you to get along well.

Depth psychology is a journey into one’s self and therefore also more intense and extensive as behavior therapy in its procedure.

You’ll have up tp 100 sessions overall and therefore several sessions per week more often than not. Naturally, that takes quite some time.

Additionally, you get to the cause of your conflicts so it's helpful if your life outside of your psychotherapy is relatively stable and able to support you.

Finally!

A psychoanalytical psychotherapy is the emotional in-depth progression of a depth-oriented psychotherapy and the ULTIMATE clean-up with the deepest reach and therefore scope.

You get to the causes of the disorders of your childhood and youth here, too, but process these conflicts directly and no longer by the means of behavior or thought patterns (symptoms).

And yes, your main work station is the infamous couch which became THE symbol for psychoanalysis which may amuse many people but which is just a powerful tool with many advantages in the first place:

• Body & soul relax much better when you are lying down, everything can flow more freely.
• But other than a bed, a couch is harder and supports us better without falling asleep (you're fully consciousthe whole time).
• And that you don't see your psychotherapist meanwhile, also helps you to better focus on yourself and keep doing so.
• Crying is also more comfortable under these circumstances if you need to ;-)

Enjoy and take full advantage of it because in no other psychotherapeutic procedure will you dive that deeply into the human psyche - especially into your own - like in a psychoanalytical psychotherapy.

A psychoanalytical psychotherapy is the most intense psychotherapy you can make.

Sie ist ein relaIt's a relatively one-sided exchange between you and your inner self where your psychotherapist only accompanies and guides you if necessary.

Fortunately, you have a looooot of time for it which you should also take: Up to 300 sessions are possible, so your 2-3 sessions a week keep you busy for a couple of years - after all, good things take time.

The art and magic of a psychoanalytical psychotherapy lies in the act of the psychotherapist, overtaking the role of important figures of yours (e.g. parents) in order to intentionally activate your inner conflicts (disorders) which manifested in your childhood and youth.

Therefore, he will often behave exactly like the ones causing your conflicts - but in a completely different, much more controlled and safe environment (your past is far away and you're in the legitimate and specially trained hands of a professional).

The "provocative" behavior as well as the constant silence of your psychotherapist which will be your loyal companion generate immense pressure but this is exactly what we want and need in order to bring to light and therefore be able process even the deepest conflicts.

So, you’re mainly challenged emotionally here and also work much more with and on your emotions. That’s why your emotional state is very important here because you really have to be able and strong for such an intense experience.

A psychoanalytical psychotherapy is not for beginners and it is particularly helpful here, if you have a high self-awareness or somebody by your side who knows you, your history and your goals well in order to be able to reflect your psychotherapy experiences which nearly is inevitable with this psychotherapeutic procedure.

That's why it is extremely important that you feel comfortable or at least safe with your (perfect) psychotherapist in a psychoanalytical psychotherapy, particularly. Because you should have a partner where you really let lose when diving into the unpleasant experiences of your childhood and youth again!

A psychotherapy is the most demanding procedure for psychotherapists, too, because they need a lot of sensitivity, experience and strength to dose the right behavior in the right moment while keeping track of everything else, too, at the same time.

And that, my friends, shows exactly why psychotherapeutic distance is so important and valuable for you and your psychotherapist. Maybe you’ll regard it less negatively and maybe even appreciate it now.

The biggest success is that you want to make a psychotherapy at all.

I can't stress enough how huge that is. The greatest accomplishment about it is your self-consciousness and your strength to admit that you have issues and need external help. Unfortunately, only few people go that far (that's why they all become sick) but it's 50% of the overall achievement!

Deciding to overcome old, familiar stuff which harms you can only be good! So, here is to you, first: Congratulations =)

It speaks for the commitment of the two of us that you found me and already read to this point. That you are willing to invest more energy into the search of your psychotherapist shows how important health and high quality is for you - and it will pay off.

And if you step it up a notch, you arrange your whole life around your psychotherapy for the period of it so that you have or take yourself enough margin (mainly time) to process your experiences.

The search for a psychotherapist is a lot of fun with the right attitude because it goes smoothly and will lead to success. Various signs will show you very quickly and directly if you found the right perfect psychotherapist for your current situation. And if you take my tips into consideration you, too, should find your perfect psychotherapist at the first attempt, i.e. it should be obvious at the latest with the first visit, if not even contact (call, mail) that this is the one.

With the perfect psychotherapist, the First SessionsIf not the very first session at all are going to be a Big Bang.

Have you ever been infatuated? Love at First Sight and Such? This is pretty similar here. And - very importantly - it is INDEPENDENT from the Leading sign: It will hit home if your psychotherapist tells you that you are a princess or mummy's boy when you only surrounded yourself with yeasayers your whole life as much as it strikes when someone who has been beat up her/his whole life (hello) gets affirmation.

My #1 tip for your psychotherapy sessions: "just" let out what you think or feel at any given moment. Especially if you are blocked - your psychotherapist takes care of the rest, that's exactly her/his job. This way, you free yourself from old shackles the most effective and sustainable way.

The best you can do for yourself, your psychotherapy and also for a psychotherapist is to commit to her/him (don't worry, we still talk about the perfect psychotherapist, i.e. one which is really good and suits to your current circumstances; nothing bad can happen here!). If you take in or at least condone her/his tips at first without resistance, you've already won half the battle. It will not always work and you also don't have to agree to everything your psychotherapist says or does (see "reflection" below), but if you accept what’s happening there, you will be better able to process and implement the experiences of your psychotherapy (just like we have to take in, not reject food in order to grow). I know how hard this can be, but you can also keep silent and let everything sink in first 😉

Ultimately, you train a great craft for life this way: building up trust.

Of course, your inner conflicts will come up with a psychotherapist or because of her/him, respectively (after all, it’s still a psychotherapists job to resolve these conflicts and they have to get out therefore first). But other than we experienced up to this point, a psychotherapist will re-act neutrally to our (non) verbal behaviour. The professionally objective reactions signal "it's ok how you are, even if it's not 'perfect'" in the first place. With these experiences, you learn to also trust other people (besides your psychotherapist) and more and more accept yourself.

The practical application of what you learned is essential for the preparation and post-processing of a successful psychotherapy.

Only if you apply what you have learned in your 50-minute-long psycho class to the outside world of your psychotherapy sessions, can you make new experiences in your everyday life. Which you definitely should because experiences are an essential reference to monitor and necessarily adjust your development.

If everything goes well, you will digest what you’ve learned psychically which means that it becomes an automatic part of yourself you don’t consciously think about anymore.

I can't stress enough how important preparation and especially post-processing of psychotherapy sessions is. A psychotherapy will stir you up so much that you will want to talk about it with somebody anyway (at least that's what I wish you), but it's also important to do it properly.

That not only contains the subsequent analysis of the content but also a sophisticated reflection of yourself and your psychotherapist as well as of the development of your relationship and the psychotherapy in general.

Like every other treatment, also a psychotherapy’s intention from the very beginning is that you release yourself from your therapist. That's another reason why you should occasionally reflect your psychotherapist and, as I've already said, your relationship towards her/him - because if something changes in your psychotherapy, it does speak for DEvelopment which is not only good but exactly what we want!

And even if these changes do not feel good and your experiences with your psychotherapist even actually are bad (I just can't help everyone), it's good for you, because it helps you to orient and realign yourself if needed. And it can only get better if you do something differently than before.

If everything goes well, your self-consciousness will increase first.

Yes, it's possible that you'll feel increasingly worse at the beginning, especially with the deeper psychotherapies. But that's the way it goes when inner conflicts finally resolve after an eternity - it hurts and it smells, but you know and accept that physically, too, right (speaking of digestion or skin ;-) Again, regard your psychotherapy as detoxicationand thank your psychotherapist that you have the chance to grow at all in her/his safe space.

It will do you well in the middle or long run at the latest because you'll become more sensitive and stronger  (more confident) through a psychotherapy and are more capable to deal with inner and outer conflicts more self-reliantlyfrom then on.

Somewhere down the road, you should also reach a point where you detach from your psychotherapist. You will recognize that the experiences are not as intense anymore and also ask yourself if that's all and what's to come. Not because you run away from the unpleasant feelings of a psychotherapy, but because you will have become more and more self-reliantly and don't need your psychotherapist anymore in order to master your everyday challenges (without psychic drugs at best).

Which, by the way, also means that you and your psychotherapist did a good job (speaking of "perfect psychotherapist"). It's similar to a doctor: if you work together well, it hopefully doesn't mean "See you!" but "Fare well!". This may create sentimental feelings for one person or another now but sentimentality is not a bad thing - after all, it created meaningful poetry and other significant pieces of art throughout history, right.

Your body, which still is closely connected with your psyche, should follow suit positively, too.

Maybe your self-worth towards physical characteristics increased or you stopped taking unhealthy substances. Or you simply enjoy being more active and leaving the house (again) so you meet people with which you do nice things - and sail across the Atlantic in the end.

You will often only implement what you have learned in your psychotherapy AFTER the actual psychotherapy because your therapy doesn't take long (a maximum of 60 50-minute-long sessions of a behavior psychotherapy is nothing) or because you're so busy with yourself and - thanks to my website - with the preparation and post-processing of your psychotherapy sessions.

In my opinion, this is one of the hardest things a psychotherapist has to deal with. That's why all of them are HEROES to me (I and my ego want to see results during continuing operation). Let's show them our appreciation by sending them a letter or thanking them via phone or a website afterwards. Thank you, dear psychotherapists!

While you not only master your everyday challenges with your new toolbox but even look for new chances to grow upon, you will consistently think off your psychotherapist in who you found a new oracle which either encourages you or which you can ask for advice.

Maybe you even discover your next limitations on your journey which require the next cleaning therapy with a psychotherapist or a cool personality coach so that we get together (again), too, and increase your own as well as the psychic and physical health of our society.

If that isn't appealing, I don't know what is... right now, I'm pretty baffled what insane amounts of successesrevealed itself here (and this is "only" a general description - imagine how this would feel in your everyday life) and this chapter by far surpasses nearly all other chapters.‍

All das zeigt, wie mächtig, klar und messbar Psychotherapien sind (versuchen Sie das mal mit einem Persönlichkeits-Coach... viel Glück). Jetzt wissen Sie, warum ich ein Riesenfan klassischer Psychotherapien bin und haben hoffentlich noch mehr Lust auf die Ihre.

The magic word and the only address you need (in Germany) is called Association of Statutory Health Insurance Physicians (“Kassenärztliche Vereinigung”, KV). Nothing else matters (here). Yes, there are probably other sources online where psychotherapists are listed which ... no, thank you. With the KV you have an extremely extensive and reliable choice of psychotherapists (and you can beautifully look for doctors and other practitioners).

The KV is an organization where all physicians and psychotherapists of the statutory health insurance system HAVE TO be part of. This guarantees you that there are well educated psychotherapists throughout. The KV are responsible for each federal state, so there are 16 KV overall and you have to look for the one of your appropriate federal state. If you live close to a border of several federal states or in a small federal state you have slightly more choices.

It should be self-explanatory that you need an internet connection since the search for a psychotherapist via the KV is online. Above all, you also found me this way. But maybe you know somebody who is looking for a psychotherapist and has no access or difficulties with this internet thing. Be nice and help her/him searching or direct her/him to me.

How to find a psychotherapist with the KV?

Disclaimer: I'll use the German terms as a reference as most KVs are not translated into English.

You are looking for the „Arzt- und Psychotherapeutensuche“ [doctor and psychotherapist search] on the website of your KV which you’ll mostly find through the navigation tab "Patienten" [patients] and then choose „Psychotherapeuten und Ärzte mit psychotherapeutischen Leistungen“  [psychotherapists and doctors offering psychotherapeutic services].

The most important category is "Fachrichtung" [field] where you select "psychologische Psychotherapeuten" [psychological psychotherapists - remember the difference between a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist]. There are other categories which sometimes are very special, but this is where you find all 3 + 0 psychotherapeutic proceduresas well as the vast majority of practicing psychotherapists. But you can also look for psychiatrists or other psychotherapists, of course.

After you made your decision all psychotherapists who work within your given radius are beautifully listed with all the bells and whistles (practiced therapeutic procedures, opening hours, contact details etc.).

A family or general practitioner, respectively, can be another opportunity for many people, especially if you see him more often (which I don't hope for you as this means that you are in serious trouble - but if not, your doc will tell you no later than your tenth visit in two weeks with no significant outcome that your issues may very likely be of psychic nature). A general practitioner will also have a good overview of addresses and can maybe even recommend one or more psychotherapists or even a psychotherapeutic procedure for you.

I'm sure that basically every reasonably educated practitioner can assess pretty well where physical disorders end and psychic issues begin. When you're looking for the psychological psychotherapists at the search of the KV, there are even practitioners who you wouldn't associate with psychotherapies in the first place, e.g. urologists.

For that reason, you can and should consider asking for advice basically ANY person who you reasonably trust or who you feel comfortable with  - even the guys in the park or next door in a restaurant. For most Germans, this is unheard of, but fortunately, not everybody in the world has a stick up their ass like most Germans, so this is highly probably not an issue for you, my dear non-native German reader 😉

As I already said, the same principles which apply to all other psychotherapists, apply here, too. You can adopt everything you get to know on this webpage 1:1 to private psychotherapists.

The difference is that unfortunately, there’s not such a beautifully centralised “search engine” like for statutory psychotherapists. A professional search of psychotherapists like I describe here, will therefore be a bit more cumbersome. Please let me know if you know a reasonably comprehensive register.

After the KV showed you all psychological psychotherapists near you, we can finally start. But please take your timeand let everything develop itself naturally - if you have to sleep over it for five days, then so be it. Important things are not urgent and urgent things are not important. And this thing here is HUGE!

Now the actual search begins where we unfold the magic by applying everything we know about the perfect psychotherapist as well as about ourself.

Our feelings, thoughts, our history and the signs which present themselves in opening hours, experiences at contacting or making appointments etc. naturally guide us towards a psychotherapist where a lot of things will fit.

At the same time, we also always constantly deal with our psyche while we’re at it - even if it's "only" subconsciously - and thereby warm up long before our first meeting with a psychotherapist =)

As you can see, the actual search for a psychotherapist is not thaaaat big. That’s totally normal and the same principle in other disciplines: preparation and postprocessing also take much longer than the actual act at cooking or when shooting a film or photo session. But the better you prepare everything, the better the process, hence results will be 😉

In fact, you should generally pay attention to signs, but when searching for a psychotherapist it is THE secret ingredient and, besides the consciousness about your own precondition, nearly inevitably.

The name of a psychotherapist, the name of the street of the numbers in the address of her/his practice as well as the experiences of your first contact and more all give valuable clues which show you the way.

Processing all of that takes time and is an important part of the preparation of your psychotherapy as well as a truly important success factor. The more you invest here, the more fluently your psychotherapy is progressing in the end.

Will be exciting no matter how well you are prepared. Always. That's the way it goes when it comes to a first significant, live-changing date, but you hopefully already know that from other areas of life.

I highly recommend that you always make the very first direct contact via phone! ALWAYS. Because even if a potential psychotherapist doesn't pick up the phone, her/his answering machine will activate which allows you to hear your probable psychotherapist at least this way.

A little tip: you often catch a psychotherapist shortly before the full hour as a psychotherapeutic session is 50 minutes long so that the human has some time to eat, go to the toilet or make phone calls between sessions. And if you're a little afraid of a phone call, just call at the weekend 😉

Do not underestimate the importance of hearing the voice of a person because you can read sooo much from it about another person and evaluate how comfortably you feel with it!

In addition, don’t be shy to contact several psychotherapists, too - even if you are 100% certain that your first hit revealed the perfect one. It increases the strike rate and also helps you gain self-security through the many experiences with psychotherapists if you're intimidated by them.

Also feel free to go to several psychotherapists in order to get to know different psychotherapeutic procedures. For instance, visit a behavior therapist and a psychoanalyst. A good psychotherapist will recommend that to you, too, if you're still uncertain and curious.

I, for example, knew from the very beginning that I need and want a psychotherapist who practices depth-oriented psychotherapy AND psychoanalysis, but visited a behavior psychotherapist after the first sessions with my "deep" psychotherapist anyway. Which was great, because besides getting confirmed that behavior psychotherapy is not the right thing for me and an amazing conversation, I got presented one of the greatest metaphors which they didn't even give us during psychology study 😉

Finally, the time has come. How exciting =) =) =)

I wish you so many good things And that's all I say for now. You are extremely well-prepared; everything else, you take care of with your psychotherapist if you continue your journey without me.

Just like a doctor does not immediately apply an injection needle when you show up with some random symptom, a psychotherapist, too, will only makes a diagnose based on well-grounded examinations.

To get to know you and your issues, you have approx. four "probative sessions". Other than with a doctor, they are psychic here, of course, which means you will talk with each other (always seated, by the way, nothing special here - even if the goal is a psychoanalytical psychotherapy).

After the necessary psychotherapeutic procedure is determined, you file an application at your health insurance (don't worry, your psychotherapist helps you with everything).

Finally, you're going to the doctor of your choice so he can attest that your issues don't have physical causes. For most people, this will be their family or general practitioner, but other specialists can do this, too - ask your psychotherapist therefore.

Then, the journey officially begins =)